So I was folding whites from the laundry this morning, or in the process of getting to that. No music playing, so just my own thoughts to contend with.
I took off my down vest as folding cloths gets me warmed up, and I had it on because I'm trying some new automated settings with the thermostat and apparently at the moment should still be under the covers in bed sleeping. In getting started I also opened the bedroom blinds to let the light in. Yes I make the bed and fold the clothes there. Work shirts or clothes that get hung up have preference get plucked and hung first.
There was a boy out in the backyard a few houses down on the left I could see out the window all bundled up swinging on the play-set. I kid still playing on a swing, how wonderful, all alone so sort of sad, but almost getting horizontal on the sweep of the swing so nice to see the effort there.
What to do about her. Yes her. The one I harp over to myself and her who doesn't shut me out for it. I called her a ghost in a message as we are on a first name bases but then that being about all the personal info I know about her except her occupation and the town she's in. Thinking about it there folding clothes I was thinking I should have said internet ghost instead of ghost on probably not said it at all. I was trying to allude to the fact that with the little bit I new about here there was really no corporal connection we could ever make or that she is particularly clever in side stepping. I'm still hanging on to the maybe I got from her on that.
Well I've seen photos, many photos, all sorts of photos, of her so it was more of a jab about not seeing her in the flesh. She's quite the duck, not much ruffles her feathers and she lets a lot roll off her back. Not much gets to her, but the thing that do are quite understandable and warranted. She has her limits to what and how much she'll take. It keeps me on my toes as I don't want to be on the receiving end of a warranted spanking from her so it helps me to examine what I'm really want to and am trying to say before I write it. I'm quite taken with her she's really something. I get jealous though of the time she puts into countermanding idiots and wish I could get that amount of attention from her. She doesn't like rude/mean comments to her or her minion and she doesn't like stalkers, so you see how her online presents could be kept quite busy with that. She did just hired someone to work with her who was also someone from online so it does look like a real friendship or relationship could be possible. I wouldn't want that job though. I have my principles, and it seemed the previous employee for that position was just the opposite. Not that there are lines I wouldn't cross under the right circumstances but that job was just too messy and I don't like the idea of jail time.
Anyway, so I'm folding cloths wondering how I could possibly fit in and get started for real with her if it were ever possible and by gods grace she were ever possible. Some things came to mind of course. Well Taylor Swift has this camera commercial where this girl gets to tour with her and take pictures of her with her Sony camera. So this woman I like is very beautiful and I was thinking how awesome that would be with her.
She told me she was traveling so I opted to be her chauffeur but heard nothing back about that. I thought it would be a good idea, in that she'd be freed up to prepare and review in the car with her business.
Then there is the idea of being part of her entourage. Get to be with her see that she's safe and all so I'd like that. A lot of this seems like stalking, but the big difference between that and being creepy is that she wants you to. I'm waiting to here that she wants me for something anything.
She has a few properties so I'd be happy to see that those were maintained and cared for. I'd like to see that she was taken care of, and be the one doing the caring for that. The other thought I had was a multi-sport obstacle course type of race thing going on not far from the town she's from and I know she runs and I could mention and invite her to participate in that with me. That would be lots of fun and I think is one of my best ideas. I'd enjoy the travel and since it's not in her town it would be good neutral territory to meet in so I'd think that would make her more comfortable and less apprehensive about things - meeting someone from online.
The problem and opportunity that is happening though is that she is moving to other internet sites due to a closing of our site which isn't actually going to happen it seems. But that has got everybody looking to go elsewhere and not check messages at the site we were at much anymore. So hearing from her most infrequently now and when I do it's short to the point messages about how she's not coming to the site anymore. This leaves me feeling lost and abandon. She has to be the one to turn this around, I told her how much I care so if she doesn't step up and do something, I don't know what to do. It's frustrating but more-so I just miss her and worry I'm loosing her.
And with that I think of my business and what I can control and take care of, so turn my focusing on those things and advancing on that front. I'm not one to handle standing still, I like moving forward. I don't know if she's worried about me holding her back? She's got it in her head that she's doesn't need anyone, but I worry that's just because it wasn't the right ones for her that she's been with in the past. It wasn't me and I'm not them. I don't think being with someone, the right one, would prevent either of us from moving forward and think that should help that. She's the right one, and I'm the right one for her, but how can I gently club her over the head to get her to see all that?